Midweek Quickie: Spiced! Black Bean Burgers [Massive Munch Guest Post]

Guest Post by Massive Munch

Something weird has happened in the last month or so.. despite being provided with an endless variety of amazing food from everyone's favourite food blogger, I have found myself in the kitchen actually attempting to make dinner. And I've had a reasonable amount of success. 

Strangest of all; I've even been enjoying it. Apparently chopping veg, slinging it in a pan and then adding some kind of sauce is so easy I can do it while watching Star Trek on my laptop. Why didn't I think of this before?! Boyfriend points earned, nerdy proclivities satisfied and I've produced a plate of yummy food with a side order of
personal achievement. (EK: I can't believe you're watching Star Trek from the beginning. Again.)

Today we pushed the boundaries. Up to now I've just been frying chopped veg and adding hot sauce. But after seeing a video online for some black bean burgers I decided to give it a go; this time I had to chop some veg, add some sauce (wait for it)... press it in to patties, and THEN fry it.

Whole. New. World. (EK: A new fantastic plate of food!)

We even recorded the experience and now its going to be aired on the radio at 4pm today, (edit: podcast available here). WTF. (EK: You should listen just to hear him say "tablespoon". And for the fact it took bloody ages editing out all of the grated finger talk and references to ming.)

This one's for anyone else who thinks they're rubbish at cooking. Well easy, well yummy. 

To the recipe!

What you'll need:
  • 2 cans of Black Beans, rinsed and drained
  • Onion, diced
  • 5 cloves of Garlic, chopped proper small
  • Parsnips or Carrots (I used 5 baby parsnips)
  • 1/2 cup of Oats (EK: Can be gluten free)
  • 1 tablespoon of Tamari Sauce
  • 2 tablespoons of 'Spiced' North African sauce 
  • Olive Oil
  • Burger buns, vegan ones if you're a nice person, vegan & gluten free ones if your life is
    well annoying
  • Salad. For putting in the burger, nothing to do with being healthy, shut it you
How to do it:
  1. Put a frying pan with a bit of olive oil in there on a low heat to warm
  2. Dice the onions and finely chop/mince the garlic, put them in the pan
  3. Shred the parsnips or carrots (& fingers) with a grater. Put them in the pan
  4. Add the sauce, cook until its all tender and brownish (golden!) then take off the heat
  5. In a separate bowl, mash the beans in to a coarse paste
  6. Add the oats and the tamari sauce. Mix thoroughly
  7. Add the onions, garlic, parsnips stuff from the pan. Mix it up more
  8. Press the mixture into patties and place on a plate. I got 5 good sized ones and one little one out of there
  9. Put the plate in the freezer for half an hour to firm them up
    a bit
  10. Fry them. Two to three minutes on each side should do it. Definitely get them a
    bit crispy
  11. Put them in buns, put salad on them, probably some kind of sauce, you know, like its a burger..
  12. Stick it in your fat vegan face (EK: You're a fat vegan face!)
  13. Repeat until they are all gone
  14. Agree to make them again tomorrow (EK: I can see the Massive Munch Cock-up Cooking Channel now...)


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