Ever since I was a little big gob, I have loved anything breaded and baked. Add in something buttery and heavily flavoured with garlic, and I'm pretty sure that even to this day I would freely clamber into a strangers van, had they been known to drive vans stocked with fat filled carbs and not sugary sweets.
When I had to give up breaded things a very long time ago, I may have over dramatically thought that I would never feel joy again, until gluten free product ranges got much better, and I once again got my fill. For about a whole 10 minutes. For me an improvement in gluten free wares obviously coincided with the time that I decided all lifestyles other than vegan were evil and once again could no longer indulge in breaded breast baths.
Thank goodness for chickpeas and a desire to experiment. So, if you too are vegan, gluten free and missing protein smothered in crumb, this is my gift to you. I mean, it's definitely my gift to myself, but I reckon you'll like it too. Who the hell wouldn't?!
makes 4 large "breasts", snigger.
for the chickpea "breast"
1 can chickpeas, liquid reserved
200g of tofu
1 vegetable stock cube
2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups gf breadcrumbs
2 handfuls quinoa flakes (optional, can sub with more gf breadcrumbs)
for the garlic butter
6 tblsp of vegan spread
2 tblsp of parsley, finely chopped
6 garlic cloves, minced
- Make your garlic butter by melting the vegan spread, and stirring in the garlic and parsley. Pour into stick like ice moulds and pop in the freezer until solid.
- Next, except for the breadcrumbs and quinoa flakes, pop all of the chickpea breast ingredients into a food processor and process until a thick paste forms.
- On some clingfilm, form a rough breast shape and then insert a garlic & parsley butter stick, making sure to fully cover it with chickpea paste.
- Wrap each breast in clingfilm and put in the freezer for an hour or until solid enough to handle.
- Preheat your oven to 180/gas mark 5
- Whip up your reserved chickpea liquid (aquafaba), dip each breast and cover in crumb. Repeat if, like me, you're a fan of double dipping.
- Pop your formed breasts on a baking tray and put in the oven until golden and hot all the way through. 30 minutes should do it, but it depends how frozen your kievs were to begin with.
- Serve with mash and greens, whilst you remember your childhood, where you were almost entirely raised on packet frozen foods and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fondly.
- Call your mum and let her know you were joking.
- Seriously, she's a great cook.
- But she did let my nan stuff me full of Finder's Crispy Pancakes, whilst my parents and sister were tending to the horses at the stables.
- Oh, the horror!
- We didn't know!
- If only we'd known!