I'm Coming Out

Some of you will have guessed already and some of you even probably knew this about me long before I was willing to acknowledge or admit it myself. In fact, even whilst fully submerged in these definitive acts, I was still denying who I truly was, but I think I'm ready now to come out and tell you all that I....
...vegan. (Dun, dun, dun!)

Lee Kern probably said it better than I can in this good and sweary Vegan Wanker post.

Yes, I've had some of the usual silly comments about what I eat (food) and how I will survive (by continuing to eat nutritionally dense food), but the bottom line is that no one needs animal products to survive, so I'm good with my guilt free feed ups, thanks. You can keep your heart disease and diabetes through murder, ta.

But what about eggs?! You're obsessed with eggs! Your stage name is Eggs!!!
Yes, I am also shunning eggs. The irony of being a vegan cabaret act called Eggs Benedict is not lost on me, but until I get my rescue hens, I will be egg free. (Yes, I know this isn't an entirely agreed upon vegan attitude, but quite honestly in this scenario eggs would be a by product of saving lives and oddly enough I am able to make my own moral guidelines about what acts I can live with.) Thankfully tofu scramble is bloody delicious and I'm reducing my mother's demand for supermarket eggs (and the immediate gassing and shredding of male chicks), by giving her my marginally less evil, local farm jobbies.

The hardest thing for me will be shellfish, as I hold my hands up and admit that it's difficult for me to empathise as much with mussels, oysters, clams and scallops, but a quick look at the bycatch numbers, state of our seas and the fact that we are running out of fish species quickly sets me back on track.

So far, I feel more positive about what I'm eating than I ever have. It's pretty simple and lazy activism just choosing to not buy or eat something and what I am eating is largely much better for me nutritionally than anything else I've ever consumed, so I really can't see the downside.

Environmentally the meat and dairy industry is the biggest contributor to deforestation and global warming and I'm privileged to be able to choose what I eat based on morals, so why wouldn't I? If total global destruction was a big bottomless pit with a sign saying "End of the World!" I'm pretty sure that most of you would be standing at the side trying to stop everyone else from merrily skipping into it. So here I am, waving a stop sign and handing out free falafel.

I won't be throwing out everything I own that contains animal products, and if I buy vintage or from a charity shop, I doubt I'll be too precious about thoroughly checking ingredients and animal testing credentials, as the deed will already have long been done before my intervention. But, I will be avoiding them to the best of my ability and I certainly won't be buying any new products containing animal ingredients or supporting animal testing. All feathers, leather and wool etc. that I currently own will be used until they naturally expire or are passed on, but once the dog lead and my old shoes no longer serve a purpose, they will be replaced with kinder, gentler models.

I originally started this blog to find out more about what I ate and where it came from, and having explored this thoroughly, I have come to the conclusion that the only ethical choices I can really make are vegan ones.

Despite having loved the taste of all parts of all animals, I do not love being complicit in causing harm.
I do not love the long term torture and hormonal, emotional and physical distress caused by the dairy industry.
I do not love the normalisation of repeated forced insemination and baby theft and slaughter.
I do not love the washing of barbaric practices with comforting language such as humane.
I do not love animal agriculture being one of the biggest contributing factors to deforestation and global warming.
I do not love contributing financially and by demand to an industry of unnecessary death and cruelty and I refuse to be a part of it any longer.

I do love feeling like I have taken responsibility for my choices.
I do love knowing that I am actively not causing unnecessary harm.
I do love being the only person surrounded by flu ridden people to have not caught a cold so far.
I do love flavour laden pies, fry ups, roast dinners, dosas, sausages, risottos, pizza, and burgers ad infinitum.
I do love eating massive piles of food and not feeling terrible afterwards.
I do love the ever expanding and easily accessible vegan industry.
I do love this video.
I do love the planet that homes me and all of the other creatures on it.
I do love massive bags of cheap, veg laden shopping.
I do love tasty, home cooked food.
I do love vegan junk food.
I do love meeting fellow vegans.
I do love being vegan.

I fully recommend it, I feel better than ever.


A Gluten Free Vegan Double Wanker, who clearly only eats lettuce leaves.


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