My New Favourite Salad & The World's Simplest Recipe

I happened to have some good pastrami to use up and a pair of gorgeous, Kentish little gem lettuces from my Kent Veg Box, so instead of sticking in a fake bread sandwich, I thought I'd make up a salad. You know, for a change, seeing as the sun is out and all that whizz bang.

I didn't have very many traditional salad ingredients, but I did have spring onions and some red chard, and they're green, so they count, right? Good, because that was the salad base and it was lovely.

I may have mentioned this before, but I am a bit of a hoarder and have a terrible jar fetish. I recently managed to part with a lot of jars, but it's OK because they weren't my "good" jars. Oh yes, I have good jars and just plain, ordinary jars, which is obviously a sign of mental stability in action. Anyway, one of the reasons I keep jars is to make up dressings quickly and easily, and given that today's meat was pastrami, I wanted an English mustard based dressing; Tracklements, obviously.

This simple, quick, filling meal was so scrummy that I had it two days in a row and I want it again right now. I can't have it again right now and that makes me feel a little bit like this.

Anyway, want my super easy, luscious salad dressing recipe? OK, prepare to be overwhelmed...

Egg & Pastrami Salad with English Mustard Dressing

for the salad:
a handful of little gem leaves, shredded
a handful of red chard, shredded
2-3 slices of pastrami, shredded
1 boiled egg, sliced
1 spring onion, chopped

for the dressing:
a drizzle of olive oil
1/2 tsp mayonnaise
1/2 tsp English mustard
salt & pepper

  1. Assemble the salad ingredients on a plate.
  2. Put all of the dressing ingredients into a jar and shake to combine. Taste. Adjust heat to taste by adding either more mustard or mayo.
  3. Pour the dressing over the salad.
  4. EAT IT. Wish there was more. Be shocked that you think this of a salad and try and feel good about yourself despite knowing that there is a load of oil in it. But you know what, oil is good for brain function, so screw you and your salad purism. It's green and as close to nature as you can get, so I'll have a mayo and oil dressing on my raw chard if I want to! Whoa...quite Hulky today! Sorry about that. I'd best have some chamomile tea and a lie down.


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