Seconds of Swede


Nobody likes swede. Don't pretend you do - you lyin'.

I don't mind it, but I don't exactly love the stuff and I was pissed off when Massive Munch insisted that I buy some for Christmas. Obviously he wanted me to fail at my first year of hosting Christmas. No one wants swede that much without there being an ulterior motive, no one. So I didn't cook it for Christmas dinner. Which just meant that I still had a massive blooming swede sitting in my fridge eyeballing me every time I opened the door. What the hell was I supposed to do to get 2 regular sized people to eat a swede bigger than my head? Well, apparently I'm some sort of magician because we ate half of that ginormous bastard this evening, and literally all I did was roast it and surround it with a ton of other flavours. Who'd have guessed?!

If you live in Leeds and also want force down a skull sized swede, I highly recommend getting it from these guys - they're do the best veg. Clearly.

It was sooooo good, we both went for seconds. Of swede! Seconds! Of SWEDE!!!

So, this is how I finally beat the beast and I'm sharing my method with you so we can all finally enjoy rather than endure the polarising rutabaga.


Seconds of Swede
serves 2 - 4 swede converts

for the mustard and thyme swede and celeriac
1/2 large swede, peeled and diced large
1/2 large celeriac, peeled and diced large
2 tbsp chilli oil (or oil of your choice and 1 minced chilli)
1 tsp mustard powder
1/2 tsp salt
big bunch of thyme, leaves picked

for the rice
1 cauliflower, roughly chopped
1/2 large red onion, roughly chopped
1/2 red pepper, roughly chopped
2 garlic cloves, roughly chopped
1 carrot, roughly chopped
1/2 tsp salt
good grind of black pepper
splash of sesame oil

for the salsa
half a red onion, diced
5 large tomatoes, diced
juice and zest of half a lime
bunch of chives, chopped
1/4 tsp salt

for the raita
1/3 cucumber diced
a bunch of mint, leaves picked and chopped
juice of half a large lemon
1/4 cup of unsweetened, plain vegan yoghurt
1/4 tsp salt



  1. Preheat your oven to 180°C/gas mark 4. 
  2. Mix together the chilli oil, thyme, mustard powder and salt and fully coat the swede and celeriac. Spread everything out over a baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes, turn and put back in the oven for another 12 minutes or until the swede and celeriac are mostly cooked.
  3. In a food processor, pulse all of the ingredients for the cauliflower rice until it resembles, well, rice. Take the swede and celeriac out of the oven, remove from tray, spread over the rice mix and then top with the celeri-swede and put it all back in the oven for another 10 minutes.
  4. In the meantime, mix together your salsa ingredients to make salsa, and your raita ingredients to make a chocolate mousse. Just kidding! They make a tangy cucumber and mint yoghurt dip. Surprise!
  5. Once your cauli-rice and celeri-swede mix is golden and smelling delicious, serve up a hearty portion into your favourite bowl and top with the salsa and raita.
  6. DEVOUR IT LIKE YOU WOUD A SOUL.
  7. Doubt all of your previous beliefs as you realise that you want seconds.
  8. Of swede.
  9. Seconds of swede!!! 











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